My heart sank when I saw legendary NFL running
back Emmitt Smith sitting next to his oldest
son, EJ, at National Signing Day, a Stanford cap snug on EJ’s head and a
University of Florida cap still sitting starkly on the table in front of them.
It sank for me, selfishly, because –– as a life-long Gator
football fan who spent my own high school years watching Emmitt wear #22 while
breaking records for my team –– I was disappointed not to have his son coming
to the University of Florida to play too. It would have been fun and special to
watch EJ play the same position on the same field. It also would have made for
fabulous Emmitt sightings in Gainesville next fall.
But I also felt for Emmitt. He and I both now have high school seniors ––
our oldest sons –– and they have both been choosing between the paths we took
and paths we did not. I have tried very hard not to sway my son toward my alma
mater, but at the same time, there is always that little part of my heart that
thinks, Wouldn’t that be cool to have my son walk the same paths, sit
in the same classrooms, know the inside jokes and the traditions that I share
with my friends?
“You know, I’m going to take this hat, I’m going to wear this
hat,” he said, eliciting laughs from the crowd. “I can wear this hat; he
doesn’t have to wear this hat. His daddy went here. That doesn’t mean my son
has to go here.
“At the end of the day, my son has his own journey, and it is
his journey, not my journey,” Emmitt continued, punctuating each word clearly.
“And for him to do the things that is best for him is what we teach all of our
children –– to find what is best for you and go make it happen for yourself.”
He said he was proud of the man that EJ was becoming.
“I’m a Gator. He’s still a Gator ‘cause he’s in my family. We’re
still a family of Gators, but we’re supporting not only EJ, but we support
Skylar, we support Jasmine, we support Rheagen and Elijah –– all of our
children, no matter where they go,” he finished. “We’re going to be
parents first.”
Emmitt Smith might be a rock star running back, a legend at both
the University of Florida and the Dallas Cowboys’ stadiums, and a champion
of Dancing with the Stars, but this statement might be the most
admirable feat of strength he has shown me. Let’s be clear –– no matter how
good your intentions and no matter how well you prepare yourself, watching your child go through the
college application process and not letting your own ego and
heart get in their way takes a lot of strength.
I never expected to receive parenting wisdom from an NFL player
at exactly the moment I needed it most. But as my own son rounds the corner
into the spring of his high school graduation year and decides where his own
journey will take him next, I have not been able to forget that image of Emmitt
placing the hat on his head. I must wear my own hat. I must let my son wear
his. I have my own journey. He has his.
And like Emmitt, no matter where my son goes, we will always be
a family of Gators. Parts of our stories do not change based on where we get
our diplomas; they are written in indelible ink, and that is one of them. That
is what parenting is, writing our family stories in our own handwriting on our
children’s hearts, then knowing when to hand the pens –– and the hats –– over
to them.
